Daily Mainichi News Wire
Sept 13, 2015 8:10:13 GMT
Post by Sprague Dawley on Sept 13, 2015 8:10:13 GMT
Chinese clean-up crew on strike
--Xihnhong Times--
A local council ICCC (Insurgents Clean-Up Crew) have announced they are going on strike. "It's all very good and well to issue us with these flash new Daewoo Staser Tanks" said operator Max Dong "yes, with a top speed of 225 mph we can soon run the unauthorizeds down, staser them, scoop them up and dump them outside the Red Zone but that's not much good when the stupid pincer controls keep decapitating the bastards. Then we have to get up off the seat, climb down, retrieve the stupid departed head - before the little wanker neighbourhood kids start kicking it about the place - and after that sop up the blood. Which there is a LOT of."
One of the potentially faulty Daewoo Staser Tanks.
"It takes time" continued Dong, "and frankly it can become a bit distressing seeing all those distended heads lolling about the place all rolly-polly with that daft and eternal look on their face as if to say 'what the fuck happened there?' Plus the geysers of blood suddenly exploding from their neckholes sometimes splash on my work slacks. It's a real cunt to wash that shit out and frankly my mum is getting increasingly cross with me."
--Xihnhong Times--
A local council ICCC (Insurgents Clean-Up Crew) have announced they are going on strike. "It's all very good and well to issue us with these flash new Daewoo Staser Tanks" said operator Max Dong "yes, with a top speed of 225 mph we can soon run the unauthorizeds down, staser them, scoop them up and dump them outside the Red Zone but that's not much good when the stupid pincer controls keep decapitating the bastards. Then we have to get up off the seat, climb down, retrieve the stupid departed head - before the little wanker neighbourhood kids start kicking it about the place - and after that sop up the blood. Which there is a LOT of."
One of the potentially faulty Daewoo Staser Tanks.
"It takes time" continued Dong, "and frankly it can become a bit distressing seeing all those distended heads lolling about the place all rolly-polly with that daft and eternal look on their face as if to say 'what the fuck happened there?' Plus the geysers of blood suddenly exploding from their neckholes sometimes splash on my work slacks. It's a real cunt to wash that shit out and frankly my mum is getting increasingly cross with me."